Allow Myself To Introduce Myself...Again

So as per usual, I never managed to keep up with this blog when I started it, much like every other blog I've ever been associated with. I truly do wonder what it would take for me to actually keep up a blog, like what would actually entice me to do it. Would a million dollars work? Would I update a blog for a million dollars? Or what about a threesome? The promise of a threesome seems like something that would motivate just about any man. I'd actually love to know what happens next in that scenario.

In fact, if anyone who ever reads this has been promised a threesome as motivation for doing something and accomplished that goal, I'd like to know how that turned out. Was it worth it? Could nothing ever motivate you again afterwards? Or would another threesome still be a gratifying reward and not fall victim to the Law of Diminishing Returns?

Anyway, I don't have any carrot at the end of a stick for myself for this blog, so I have no idea if I'll really update it often, semi-often, rarely, or never again. But I hope sincerely that I do - I have a lot of nights where I sit up with nothing to do and all the time in the world to think, and sometimes I think things that I find amusing, but am always too lazy to write them down.

As a spectator of my life, I would love to see what that would look like - if only the hypothetical me could overtake the actual me and make that happen.

So should you read this blog from now on? I guess that's up to me. The past would say no, this is probably the last post of any significant length, or maybe I'll get a few more in before I fade into oblivion, but it would be really cool if I kept up with this and actually put my thoughts down on paper. Maybe it will help me write new material for my hypothetically-burgeoning comedy career, or maybe it will just be like a little online diary of my thoughts to someday show my kids (to help explain to them why they're now in therapy). Or, let's be honest, maybe this is a one-time deal.

So, with that spirit in mind, here is what I was thinking about tonight...

We may have a lot of issues in this country, but it's days like today that make me realize how truly lucky we are to live in the United States. Like way more lucky than we realize.

Today's example - in the midst of all the rioting and stuff going on in Iran, where people are rioting for their freedom and simple human rights, in the United States there are videos from Knoxville, Tennessee, where students are hanging Lane Kiffin in effigy for leaving after one season as head football coach to take the same position at USC. People were yelling, cursing, the police were even called.

That's right - that's what we're fighting mad about here in the US - who is going to coach the 5th or 6th best football team in the Southeastern Conference? Kiffin, you BASTARD!

Can you imagine what a person living in Darfur would give to devote some time to complain about a coaching scandal?

Darfurian: "The nerve of Kiffin! What about his promise to return the Tennessee program to its former glory? I'd love to hold a picket sign up about that, but the local warlord cut off my arms at the elbows."

I've seen a lot of people outraged over Kiffin's behavior today (and for the record, this has disaster for Pete Carroll and Kiffin written all over it), but I feel blessed to live in a society that can afford to waste its time worrying about such matters.

And I can probably understand a little bit better why a lot of the world hates us too.

By the way, this post is partially inspired by Conan O'Brien, who may be leaving the airwaves it seems, or at least NBC. I realized that I am 31, and Conan was 30 when he first got the gig hosting Late Night. I don't mean for this to be that stereotypical, I've accomplished nothing and and look how old I'm getting sort of thing, but at the same time, damn - that's impressive. If he can do that, the least I can do is write this post.

Tomorrow night will mark my fourth time up on stage. Once again, I will be debuting all new material, save for one joke I'm bringing back from my second set. I am proud of myself for continuing to try to expand my repertoire, but I guess at some point I should try to start honing some stuff and putting together a consistent set. How I do tomorrow night with the new stuff could go a long way in helping me make that decision, I suppose.